Reflection for 10/25: When did I get so cynical?
Dear Dr. Phil,
(Oh wait, wrong blog.)
Ok. So, I’m feeling like a real negative Nancy lately. I used to be really optimistic about all things educational. In the last year or so, however, I’ve begun to feel a a little discouraged and disgruntled. I think it stems from the feeling that I am trying my very best to paddle, but the boat keeps going in circles. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time/attention I give to teaching. Whether I dedicate that time toward working with students… giving feedback on assignments… collaborating with teammates… or planning. I can work for four or five hours a night after the kids go home, and the next day, I’m back buried under the pile of correcting, data, and new programming to integrate. I guess I’m a little disillusioned. Maybe this stems from the fact that I spend the majority of my time at work doing assignments I never even knew teachers were expected to do – before I become one myself.
In any rate, I know I need an attitude readjustment, a refocus, or a vacation. (Maybe all three!) I know what’s most important – connecting with my students and helping each one make academic and personal progress. I somehow need to see past the muck and mire to the real goal. How to do this, I haven’t yet figured.
I know this may not be a discussion solely about UBD or UD, but I think it all connects back. There are so many lessons I want to plan integrating the teaching principles of UBD and the accessibility of UD. I just need to find a way to make these tasks a priority – and I would say that this course is helping me move in that direction. Every time we read an article, I am reminded of being an optimistic college student learning about ideas like UBD, UB, and MI – so eager to have my own classroom where those ideas would be as routine as lunch counts and attendance.
In any rate, I haven’t given up yet. I know there’s a light in the tunnel – however dim it looks right now. I hope that we will learn some strategies (and dare I say, shortcuts) to help make UD a near-effortless component of my teaching.
Sorry about the rant. I have to say, just writing this all down has made me feel better. I guess the good news is that I know where I am going – it’s just the means to get there that is a little fuzzy. I think I’m jumping out of the boat for tonight. Until next time…
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“Negative Nancy,” eh? I’ve never heard of that one…One of my daughter’s favorite book series is “Fancy Nancy,” but she only gets depressed when her family fails to be posh. OK, back to YOUR issues…
I feel and understand your discouragement. Please know that you’re not “paddling in circles.” You realize how much more you want to be doing, but your students are still benefiting and growing.
You said, “I somehow need to see past the muck and mire to the real goal. How to do this, I haven’t yet figured.” You’ll figure it out (perhaps without even realizing that something has shifted). But then the muck and mire will creep back in. I think it’s a cycle. You’ve got the answer though – “I know what’s most important – connecting with my students and helping each one make academic and personal progress.”
I hope that you leave this class with a sense that UD is manageable – perhaps not “near effortless,” but at least something that can begin to have a place in your units over time. The only advice I have for a “shortcut” is to take small risks and increase them over time. Stick with methods, concepts, and strategies that have immediate relevance to you and your curriculum, and then re-visit others over time.
No need to apologize. Disgruntlement is a reality and it’s important to express it but more so to define it, which you have. Thanks for sharing this.
Cynthia